As a Pirates' fan, do you expect a young, promising, feel-good story of a pitcher to develop "forearm tightness" by mid-May?
YES NO
If yes, carry on as usual, oh cynical but wise one.
If no, do you instead expect a meteorite to fall on his his elbow and turn it into Apricot Jell-O by Memorial Day?
YES NO
If yes, list three more bizarre but predictable injuries he could suffer.
If no, you're not a Pirates' fan, are you?
David Bednar
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